Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
