I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
