why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
