I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
