i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
