So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
