Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize