He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
