Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Randomize
