Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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