so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
