when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize