I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
