well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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