she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
