i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
