So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
