seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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