new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
