he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
