remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize