She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
