I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Randomize