i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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