Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
