We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
