i wish peter jackson would direct porn
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
