Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
