I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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