After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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