Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
