You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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