i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
