jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
