I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
