he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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