We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
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