So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize