Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
In other news, I just burned my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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