Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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