Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
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