I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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