A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
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