so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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