Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
