So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
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