Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
