The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
