If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
