I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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