Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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