Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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