By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I could fuck to npr.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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