The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
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