im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
