Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to calm my uterus...
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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