Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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