How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
